Thursday, August 16, 2007

Engelbert Humperdinck

When my mom saw the tv commercial of Engelbert Humperdinck early last year she was excited and happy to hear that he'd be in town for a concert.

Mom: Ayy, si Engelbert Humperdinck.
Ruth: Sino yan?
Mom: Si Engelbert Humperdinck, di mo kilala? Ano ka ba?
(starts singing) Release me, let me go, for I don't love you anymore.
Ruth: Ngee, oldies! Want to watch?
Mom: (giggles) Talaga? magkano ba ticket?
Ruth: Ten thousand.
Mom: Ayyy ganun, wag na ang mahal mahal naman. Sabagay Engelbert Humperdinck siya.
Ruth: Nge, di ko pa din siya kilala. If you really want eh. Libre kita.

In the end, mom begged off coz she wasn't in the best of health. She wasn't also allowed to go to public places during chemo sessions.

I miss mom.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Grieving

In an interview to be broadcast Monday on NBC, Princes William and Harry told "Today" show co-host Matt Lauer that their grieving process has been a long one, bereft of "peace and quiet" because of nonstop media attention.
"There's not a day goes by I don't think, you know, that I don't think about it once in the day," said Prince William.


When a friend asked me once, how long do you think you'll grieve, my answer was I don't know. A long time, I guess. I was wrong. You would never stop grieving over the loss of someone you love.

Its been four months and still sometimes I go home expecting to see her waiting for me to have dinner. Or I'd sometimes forget that she is no longer around waiting for us to get home with her Starbucks frappuccino.

There's not a day that goes by that you don't think about it. You'll always wonder, how Mom would love this, how Mom would' ve enjoyed doing this, what Mom will say about that. Even the simple things will remind you of her. How I miss Mom.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007



Mama, thank you for who I am

Thank you for all the things I'm not

Forgive me for the words unsaid

For the times I forgot


Mama remember all my life

You showed me love, you sacrificed

Think of those young and early days

How I've changed along the way

And I know you believed

And I know you had dreams

And I'm sorry it took all this time to see

That I am where I am because of your truth

And I miss you, I miss you


Mama forgive the times you cried

Forgive me for not making right

All of the storms I may have caused

And I've been wrong, Dry your eyes

And I know you believed

And I know you had dreams

And I'm sorry it took all this time to see

That I am where I am because of your truth

And I miss you, I miss you


Mama I hope this makes you smile

I hope you're happy with my life

At peace with every choice I made

How I've changed along the way

And I know you believed in all of my dreams

And I owe it all to you, Mama

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

How do You Move on?

Mom passed away last March 1. How do we move on from then?

Mommy's day will be on Sunday. How do we celebrate Mother's day when you no longer have a mom?

Monday, March 12, 2007

Soft Tissue Sarcomas

Soft Tissue Sarcomas (STS) are a group of cancers that originate from the basic elements of body tissues like: muscle, vessels, fatty tissue, fibrous tissue, etc. They may involve any part or any organ of the body. They account for about 1% of all cancers in USA and roughly 6,000 new cases are diagnosed each year in the United states. Average age at the time of diagnosis is 40-60 years.

Doxorubicin and Ifosfamide

Doxorubicin
Doxorubicin or Adriamycin® or hydroxyldaunorubicin is a DNA-interacting drug widely used in chemotherapy. It is an anthracycline and structurely closely related to daunomycin, and also intercalates DNA. It is commonly used in the treatment of a wide range of cancers.

Doxorubicin is a commonly used to treat
Hodgkin's disease, breast cancer, lung cancer, soft tissue sarcoma, Kahler's disease (multiple myeloma) and recurring instances of ovarian cancer. Commonly used doxorubicin-containing regimens are ABVD (Adriamycin®, Bleomycin, Vinblastine, Dacarbazine), CHOP (Cyclophosphamide, Adriamycin, Vincristine, Prednisone) and FAC (5-Fluorouracil, Adriamycin, Cyclophosphamide).

Ifosfamide
Ifosfamide (pronounced i-fos-fa-mide) is a chemotherapy drug that is given as a treatment for many different types of cancer.
Ifosfamide is one of the newer chemotherapy drugs which has been around and in use for many years. Ifosfamide is a white powder which, when prepared for use becomes a clear, colorless liquid. It is given by intravenous route only and is most commonly used in treatment of the following cancers: Lung, Lymphomas, Bone and Soft Tissue Sarcomas. Ifosfamide is normally given over three to four days, every three to four weeks.

Mom was given a combination of the two. From Thursday to Saturday night I miss class to go to the hospital with my mom for her chemo. Sometimes I lose my patience, how I wish I was more patient and gentle with her...

Chemotherapy

June 2005

What’s the first thing that comes to your mind when you hear chemotherapy? Mom’s was my hair. Hehe. Silly, it should’ve been the least of her worries.

We were blessed with great doctors whom we owe so much coz we don’t pay their huge PFs hehehe. Dr. Didith De Villa, took care of Mom during her chemotherapy. Mom’s first chemo was 4 cycles of 3 days intense treatment. Our first chemo was probably the easiest and the hardest of all four.

Easiest because she was still physically strong. It was still easy for her to move around. She still had an appetite. In fact, while waiting for the chemo to start, we were watching food network at Cardinal Santos’ Cancer Research Center, she was like, I want to eat this. Then she’d see something else and would change her mind. In short, she wanted to eat everything. Her veins were still fresh and not brittle, it was still easy to find and stick a needle for her IV. And mostly, she still had no idea what’s in store for her after chemo.

Hardest because we didn’t know what to expect, we weren’t prepared for the 33 Pesos charge per cotton ball, (I still have the billings to show you) nor the 200++ charge per use of the sugar monitor which we have at home. Nor were we prepared for the complications that later played havoc with her. Her sudden rise of temperature, chills, blistering mouth sores, and lack of appetite.